Tip of My Iceberg

Boys will be boys.

There is no saying, “Girls will be girls.” Curious, I did a little googling and found out that this originated from a Latin phrase, “sunt pueri pueri, pueri puerilla tractant,” which translates to “boys are boys, and boys act like boys.” It became part of the English language in 1589. This began as a lighthearted nod to childhood play, roughhousing, getting dirty, or just being loud.

I get that. We have many boys in our family, and they have lived this truth out loud. I’ve spoken with teachers of young boys who find their behavior disruptive because they talk loudly or can’t sit still.

Within the family dynamic, all our boys have a bit of a competitive streak, loving soccer, enjoying teasing one another, and engaging with older friends and siblings in a rough-and-tumble manner.

This, however, has morphed into a cultural excuse for bad behavior and recklessness. It’s used to justify inappropriate conduct. It’s made us think that boys are naturally more competitive and aggressive than girls and less likely to be empathetic and sensitive. That, however, is the shaping of our culture. Not a result of our needs.

Solomon, blessed with incredible wisdom by God, said, “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble….A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:9, 10, 12

We need each other. No matter where we’re from, how much we have, what we think we know, or our background, we can learn from one another and support each other with our different skill sets and talents.

Kindness and compassion aren’t just family values.

They’re human values.

The story of the Good Samaritan in Luke 10:25-37 is familiar in many cultures. It’s the story of a Jewish man, beaten badly and robbed by thieves, and left for dead. A Jewish priest and a Levite, both well-versed in the traditions and laws of the Torah, walked by at two different times, saw the man, and ignored him, not wanting to be made unclean by his wounds.

A Samaritan walked past the beaten man, and he took pity on him, treating his injuries and taking him to an inn. He gave the innkeeper money to treat him, promising to repay him for any outstanding costs when he returned.

The challenge was that Jews despised the Samaritans. They saw them as half-breeds, the result of Jews marrying Gentiles. For a Samaritan to show such compassion for a Jew was unheard of. But this was the story Jesus told when describing the two Great Commandments: Loving God with everything we have, and loving our neighbors as ourselves.

We struggle with loving others. It’s easier to assign value based on our judgments than freely loving others who are different from us. To make the choice to unconditionally love someone costs us–we can’t be critical if we choose to love.

Boys may be boys, and girls may be girls, but what we are doesn’t define our character.

As Anne Frank, the young girl whose diary helped many understand the fears and horrors of World War II, once said, “How lovely to think that no one need wait a moment, we can start now, slowly changing the world! How lovely that everyone, great and small, can make their contribution toward introducing justice straightaway. And you can always, always, give something, even if it is only kindness.”

Let’s not make excuses for how we act.

Let’s choose kindness and love.

Truly, we are all family.