Why Won’t You Grow?

Photo courtesy of Farhad Jafarzadeh on Unsplash

I know they look awkward right now, but you have to go through some pretty bad to get to the better.

I’m talking about my bangs.

I’ve had bangs for the majority of my life. As a child, my mother wasn’t fond of cutting my bangs, so she would cut them very short so she wouldn’t have to do it so often. The short bangs made me feel like a clown. I walked around with my eyebrows raised, making my forehead width less dramatic.

But now, I’m tired of trying to trim the fringe. So the slow in-between begins.

These liminal spaces often are frustrating–not what was, not what is to come. Sometimes it’s easier to give up and cut the bangs than to try to change my hairstyle. But that’s like beginning all over again.

Do you just not try?

Growth is like that in so many ways, because learning is a growth process. Watching a child learn to walk: they fall continually, and first-time parents can become a little panicky, fearing they’ll hurt themselves on a sharp corner or a tile floor. Or a teen learning to drive a car. As a parent, the fear of hitting another car, not stopping in time, or the agony of a child going so slow that every other car on the road is honking at you is very real

Accidents will happen. Children will fall. Teens will run into other cars. But it doesn’t mean we give up trying to learn. Trying to be better. Growth happens through the hard challenges, not because we can avoid them.

Saul understood this only too well. He was a Pharisee, a religious leader who was well-versed in the 613 laws of the Jews that were required for holiness. He’d been raised as a Roman citizen, so he was also quite entitled as a man of respect in an empire that valued citizenship.

Saul had a problem with those who followed Jesus, the One who had been crucified, and His followers claimed He rose from the dead, offering grace and forgiveness to all who would believe in Him. Saul helped imprison these followers of the Way, seeking the death penalty for many of them.

“As he was approaching Damascus on this mission, a light from heaven suddenly shone down around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice saying to him, ‘Saul! Saul! Why are you persecuting Me?’” Acts 9:7-8.

When Saul asked who He was, Jesus identified Himself and told Saul to go to a certain man who would help him; Saul had no options but to go. He had been blinded by the light.

Ananias, a follower of Jesus, had been told by the Lord that he was to heal Saul, which he did hesitantly because he knew what Saul’s intentions were. Once healed, Saul, who became Paul, became a follower of Jesus because he had encountered the risen Christ, and it changed him forever.

Paul’s change and growth were quick; people’s acceptance of him wasn’t. People had feared him because they knew he was a Pharisee and didn’t believe in Jesus. They couldn’t understand what appeared to be his vacillation. So several Jews plotted to kill him. The few who believed him helped him get out of town.

Paul’s change was a life change; he went from being a persecutor of followers of Christ to a follower himself. Many didn’t accept it. He had a small community of friends who believed him. They accepted him when others wouldn’t.

When we make changes in our lives, some people who know us may not appreciate our shift. Such changes may not come easily. At times, it may feel easier to not try.

But change is good. Especially if it helps us grow as people of responsibility and character.

My bangs aren’t a big change; they’re just frustratingly slow to grow out.

Life change? Like Paul?

It’s worth working on and waiting for.

12 responses to “Why Won’t You Grow?”

  1. I love this comparison! I’m in my own “bangs-growing-out” season, too. I’ve worn bangs most of my life, partly because they hide my widow’s peak! 😄 But you’re right, sometimes we have to go through the awkward in-between to get to something better. So true about growth in life, too. Thanks for sharing, Dayle.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thanks for your reply, Mar. Growth is such a sticky thing; we all need it, we do it whether we like it or not, and we find ourselves continually in a place where we’re being confronted with our shortcomings. But God loves us in our mess, our confusion, our questions, and our failings. I’m so grateful for His generosity to us.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I really enjoyed this, Dayle. I love how you started with something as ordinary as growing out your bangs and then connected it to something so much bigger. Those awkward in-between stages can be frustrating because you know where you want to get to, but you are not there yet, and it can be tempting to just give up and go back to what you know.

    Paul is such a powerful example of that. His encounter with the risen Jesus changed him dramatically, but even though his own transformation was immediate, it took time for other people to trust and accept that the change was real. I think that is an important reminder that growth can happen at different speeds for different people.

    When I was reading this, I was particularly struck by the thought that sometimes we want the finished result without having to go through the uncomfortable growing part. But God often does some of His deepest work in those in-between seasons.

    So yes, I think your bangs are probably teaching us something after all! Keep growing, even when the current version feels a little awkward. The fact that we haven’t arrived yet doesn’t mean that God isn’t at work.

    Beatific Blessings,
    Steve 🙏 😀

    Liked by 3 people

    1. You’re so right, my friend. Wanting the finished result without going through the pain and discomfort of the work is what sounds great. But it’s the in-between that is the space where we really grow, the here, but not yet there. God never said life would be a cake walk.

      Liked by 3 people

  3. Every moment in life becomes a seed for you Dayle! Somehow you manage to both go deep and bloom from everything and anything as an inspiration point – wow! (bangs or not – you rock being you!!) xox

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Linda, for all you’ve been through, you have to be one of the most encouraging, uplifting people I know. Thanks for your kindness. And thanks for being a far-away friend. I look forward to the time we can meet!

      Liked by 4 people

      1. I think about it too – I’m too scared for the long haul flight – but we should try to zoom one of these days (my youngest gets through her final high school exams (plus prom, learning to drive etc etc) in Oct – Nov, and then life should calm down again – lets try to zoom sometime in Dec as a Christmas present to each other! xx

        Liked by 1 person

    2. I so agree with this comment–you totally rock being you, Dayle. 🙂

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Thanks, my friend. You fill my cup with your kindness.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. 😘💕
        (yay for team Dayle!)

        Liked by 2 people

  4. Know that I’m on Team Linda!

    Like

  5. Let’s do the zoom thing in December!

    Like

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