Tip of My Iceberg

As a family spread out across the US, it’s not easy to get together. It takes planning, adjusting, and a willingness to compromise to be with one another.

I’m grateful that our six children are willing to flex to accommodate their siblings.

Photo ops happened throughout our recent vacation, and as I was perusing the pictures, I came across my six kids acting like cheerleaders.

None of them were ever cheerleaders.

The number of times they had to repeat this move, from squat to leap, was ridiculous. But they had so much fun doing it. They’d check to see how it had turned out, then chorus, “Again!” And once again, they’d squat and leap.

This is the substance of memories. The moments that make you grin, remembering what it was like to be together in the silliness.

I am fortunate. Our family enjoys being together. Not just for the fun, but for the camaraderie of being with others you feel comfortable with. Who knows you well enough to accept you when you make a mistake or don’t follow through as you’d hoped.

Even the grands, who span two decades in age, have a warmth and flexibility with one another. It doesn’t always happen this way. But this one week, it did.

Families are complicated. It’s so easy to draw comparisons with other families you know. Growing up, I saw families take these grand vacations together, with the kids coming back to school to share their adventures. We typically drove to Oklahoma and Texas for vacation to visit my Dad’s family. It was more tense than enjoyable. As kids, we just tried to stay out of the adults’ way.

Family is the bedrock of society. Mother Teresa, a nun who founded the Missionaries of Charity, spent decades serving the poorest of the poor in India. She commented, “What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family.” Desmond Tutu, a South African bishop who won the Nobel Peace Prize for his nonviolent resistance to his country’s brutal system of racial segregation, known as apartheid, said, “You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them.” High praise for family.

Not all families share such closeness.

Jesus told the story of the father who had two sons, the younger of whom demanded his half of his father’s inheritance. Before the father died. This was total disrespect, the son telling his father he wished he were dead. The father, out of love, gave his son what he asked for, and the son left, spending money frivolously until he’d spent it all.

When he was languishing because he had no food and was forced to feed pigs to earn any kind of money, he decided to go back home, humbly seeking a job from his father as a slave. He knew he didn’t deserve to be treated as a son after what he’d done.

He didn’t expect the joyous reception he got.

“So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him….’We must celebrate with a feast, for this son of mine was dead, and has now returned to life. He was lost, but now he is found.’” Luke 19:20, 24.

A joyful reunion. Not because the father appreciated what the son had done. The father loved his son so much that he was willing to forgive him for the ugly way he’d treated his father.

God created the family unit to give life stability and strength. So we could have community with those who know us best. It won’t always be that way. For some, that’s so far from the truth that it hurts.

But being part of God’s family gives us connections that will last for eternity. It’s not a matter of blood or DNA.

It’s all about the heart.

That’s something we can all enjoy.