Tip of My Iceberg

The recent SuperBowl was rather boring. We had our family over for dinner and the game, but by the end of halftime, everyone had about given up on it.

The two youngest, who were not watching the game, were finding other ways to entertain themselves. It was genuinely more fun watching their escapades than the game.

Thea, at one-and-a-half, is Houdini in a small body. She can get into and out of things quicker than I can keep up with her. She’s learned to open the front door herself, so it now has to be bolted for her protection.

Kolly, almost four, is a talker, and she delights in being with her friends (cousins) more than anything. She explains everything in detail, and she can be louder than many adults.

You put the two of them together, it’s a little like oil and water–not easily mixed, but the combination is interesting. They get along well–until they don’t. They can become jealous of one another because anytime one of them is shown favor by anyone, especially by Mom, the other notices immediately and demands equality.

Sibling rivalry is as old as time itself. Brothers and sisters in families are mixtures of a common genetic pool that rarely appear alike. Growing up with two sisters and a brother, I was always amazed that the way I thought wasn’t the way they did. What seemed natural and logical to me wasn’t true for the other three. Same parents, totally different personalities.

We can go back to the first family, when Adam and Eve had children, and they didn’t always get along. As brothers, Cain and Abel were close, but they chose to pursue different occupations. Cain became a farmer, working the soil, while Abel became a shepherd. They understood that offering sacrifices to the Lord was expected, and they brought what they had to Him. Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil, and Abel brought the best portions of his firstborn lambs.

“The LORD looked with favor on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering He did not look with favor.” Genesis 4:4-5. This angered Cain, and God knew it. The Lord told him that if Cain had done what was right, his best, what he offered would have been accepted. It wasn’t that a sacrificed lamb was better than sacrificed vegetables; it was the specifics of what was offered. Abel brought his first and best; Cain brought less than his best.

Cain’s solution? He murdered his brother. Anger overcame any filial affection, and not being seen as good as his brother drove Cain to an extreme response. Because of this, he faced divine judgment, was exiled, and lived the rest of his life as a wanderer. God gave him a special mark so no one would kill him, but he was estranged from his family.

What happened between Cain and Abel was extreme, but sibling rivalry is real. Comparisons happen constantly, from parents to teachers, and it’s easy to feel less than when a sibling seems elevated in the eyes of these adults.

Kolly and Thea don’t have that level of competition between them, but they do jockey for position with their parents. To be seen and accepted as special is always a desire.

With God, we’re all special. We don’t have to compete with anyone for His affection. “For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:13-14.

Siblings may strive for their parents’ attention, and any assumed preference can cause friction.

With God, each of us is seen as uniquely beautiful, singularly special, and particularly delightful.

No competition is necessary.