Tip of My Iceberg

photo courtesy of Alex Chernenko on Unsplash

I don’t enjoy driving.

I used to enjoy it when I learned how. Being behind the wheel was a new sense of power and control. As a teenager, I hadn’t had a whole lot of that. Driving meant I had to pay attention to where I was, where I was going, and how fast I was getting there.

After driving for several decades now, I’m not as fond of motoring around as I used to be. I have to drive back and forth to work, about a half hour each way, every day. I have to take toll roads, with a speed limit of 70 miles per hour, so here, in Florida, it means everyone drives at least 80. (I speak hyperbolically.) Drivers dart and dodge, cutting in and out. I used to think driving was like a game, where the moves are plotted, and you take chances switching lanes. I’d tell myself if the car ahead of me gets through a light, I’d make it to.

So immature.

I’m not even fond of riding in the car. My dear husband won’t let me drive if he’s with me — he is a much more cautious driver than I am. Stodgy. So I tend to complain about how slow he drives, how he stays in the slow lane instead of passing cars, and how he slows down when we start talking.

Isn’t that life? We think we know what we want, and then we are bothered when it doesn’t turn out like we think it should. I wanted to make driving a game, but it isn’t. It’s handling a 4,500-pound vehicle while others are doing the same thing. Nobody knows what’s going on in the headspace of each driver, whether they’re content, angry, sad, or upset. Attitudes and emotions tend to impact how we drive.

There are so many times I want to think of life as a game, a competition, or avoid acting like an adult. Rather like Peter Pan, created by author James Barrie, about a boy who never grew up. There’s a term that isn’t a real psychological diagnosis called the Peter Pan Syndrome, which is pretty much the refusal to move from young person to adult status, embracing responsibility and goals.

Don’t we all, at some point, want to avoid responsibility and blow off the authority figures above us? Pretend life is a game and ignore all the rules? It can’t happen. It leads to chaos and ultimate discontent. We can’t do what we want because life lived in communities has rules for our protection and provision.

We call sporting events games, but even those are regulated by distinct rules. Someone may run very fast, but if they don’t follow the course, they can’t win. Even the Bible refers to this. “Similarly, anyone who competes as an athlete does not receive the victor’s crown EXCEPT BY COMPETING ACCORDING TO THE RULES.” 2 Timothy 2:5.

Life isn’t just about us. We live in communities where we have to consider more than our immediate pleasures and desires. “You may say, ‘I am allowed to do anything’–but not everything is good for you. You say, ‘I am allowed to do anything’–but not everything is beneficial. Don’t be concerned for your own good but for the good of others.’” 1 Corinthians 10:23-24.

I’m probably not going to change my attitude about driving anytime soon, but I do need to consider who else is on the road with me. Just like in life, my actions impact others and how they may respond.

None of it is a game.