Away From That Screen!

She has watched her older sister and her cousins as they lose themselves in the blue tint of the tiny screen.

And then, during a time when her mom was in a meeting with Thea on her lap, she introduced Ms. Rachel to her.

For those of you unfamiliar with this new screen icon, Ms. Rachel is a popular children’s educator and YouTuber. Her videos help with speech and language development for toddlers, especially those with speech delays, prompted by her own son and his speech issues.

Kids love her.

My daughter wasn’t excited about her girls being on screens. She’s seen the effects of screen usage on nieces and nephews–it’s not always a pretty picture. Screen time has a way of capturing the minds of the young, negatively impacting their ability to process the world around them and interact with other people. It can even cause developmental delays.

We’re all attracted to new and shiny things. It’s why everyone wants to get the newest iPhone or the next-generation game console. It becomes even more desirable if an authority figure tells us we shouldn’t get it or that it’s not good for us. We want to do what we shouldn’t do.

We have a natural tendency toward disobedience and outright rebellion. Thomas Chandler Haliburton, a Nova Scotian politician, judge, and author, once said, “Whenever there is authority, there is a natural inclination to disobedience.” Children are the best reflections of this truth, whether at home, in the classroom, or on the playground. If a set of rules is presented, it’s only a matter of time till some child tries to break them.

It’s what we’re prone to do, a dilemma that we’ve had to deal with since the beginning of time. When God created the world and filled it with all kinds of wonderful things, man was His last creation, and upon seeing what He had made, He declared it very good.

God made man to have a relationship with Him, a sharing of His bountiful love and grace. After the Lord had created Adam, He took him to the Garden of Eden, “and commanded the man, ‘You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.’” Genesis 2:16-17.

Adam was alone in the world, with no one of his kind, and God knew that wasn’t good, so He made Eve from one of Adam’s ribs.

An enemy existed in the garden, a serpent that was beautiful to look at. His goal was to cause the man and woman to disobey God, to break the relationship they had with Him. The serpent spoke to Eve, twisting God’s words just enough to confuse her. “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden?’” Genesis 3:1.

Eve responded that they couldn’t eat from the tree in the middle of the garden or even touch it, or they would die.

She didn’t get the rule right.

The serpent tempted her with the beauty and tastiness of the fruit, and he also said that God was keeping things from them because eating it would make them wise like God. It made sense to Eve to eat something that appeared to be so good, so she ate the fruit and gave some to Adam to eat.

Consequences came with disobeying God. They’d worked before, but it became harder. They were forced to leave paradise. And they brought with them that desire to disobey and rebel that every human being who has ever lived has to deal with.

Like Thea’s mom wanting to withhold something that wasn’t helpful for her daughter, so God has tried to protect us from all the darkness that can hurt us.

It’s our choice, however, to obey or not. When God says no, it’s often for our good. He has our best interests at heart.

That’s what real love does; it protects us from what we don’t fully know.

God loves us enough to tell us no.

9 responses to “Away From That Screen!”

  1. AMEN to the truth: “When God says no, it’s often for our good. He has our best interests at heart.” I dare say, the rest of time when God says no, it’s for the good of others. Either way, “It may support your heart to consider that in these troubles God is performing that work in which your soul would rejoice–if you did see the design of it” (John Flavel, Keeping the Heart). I say AMEN to that too!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I love that quote by John Flavel — it speaks to God’s sovereignty and goodness, even when we don’t know what’s happening. Or agree with what He’s doing. He really does know best.

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  2. Making children independent of cellphones has turned out to be a double-edged sword. In Germany, withholding a smartphone is a common form of punishment. With my sons, however, this lever simply doesn’t work. They learned long ago how to function for weeks (or even months) without a smartphone or unconstrained internet, making do quite happily with an obsolete Nokia.

    This, in turn, has occasionally forced me to fall back on rather old-fashioned forms of consequence. They are immediate, and therefore easier for the boys to associate with the transgression itself. Fortunately, such measures are rarely needed.

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    1. Hubert, your boys sound like true gems! I appreciate your parenting skills. How much of it do you think is cultural, the difference between the U.S. and Germany?

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      1. I think, Dayle, that the cultural differences between the U.S. and Germany are not as vast as they are sometimes portrayed. Admittedly, the last time I spent an extended period in the U.S. was back in 2005, when the situation regarding smartphones and internet addiction was still fundamentally different.
        From what I have been able to observe, Germany still carries a certain internalized sense of guilt in children when they engage in unearned leisure or activities perceived as not advancing their future. In that respect, it reminds me of rural areas in the U.S. as well (where the chores-first approach cannot be circumvented). Yet even in Germany, smartphone addiction now seems to be spreading rapidly. What is striking is that this internal guilt often persists even in children already caught in addiction — but it frequently fails to prevent it. The result can be children who are both smartphone-addicted and guilt-ridden.
        The main difference I tentatively perceive in the U.S. is a generally weaker presence of this internal guilt among those affected. But here I must rely largely on your observations, Dayle.

        As for my parenting methods — which seem, at least so far, to have helped prevent smartphone addiction in my children — this outcome was sadly not the result of any deliberate or well-thought-out strategy. Rather, it emerged organically, shaped by the very different natures of each of my sons: the eldest fiercely competitive, the middle one driven by a desire to be useful to others, and the youngest endlessly curious and joy-seeking.
        What I consistently tried to instill in them was the pleasure of hands-on work — activities where results often require intermediate steps, offer no immediate gratification, and are sometimes rather unglamorous. I also encouraged them to write their questions down first and only later use the internet or books to seek answers. Occasionally, they tried to shortcut this process by looking things up immediately on their phones or computers, but over time they themselves concluded that the “write-first” approach was, in fact, more efficient and more satisfying.

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  3. It’s so tricky! With my girls I tried to use the mantra less is best – now one daughter uses technology only as a tool (and occasional escape) but the other… she still lives with the blue glow in her eyes and now that she’s nearly an adult its hard to tell her what to do – but a gentle nudge to put it down usually works… when I’m there to remind her! the other trick is to keep gifting them books and games – mine are still pretty keen to play cards as a family, so on some level it rubbed off! Blessings to you and yours! Linda xx

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    1. You’ve got a handle on this, Linda. I love the idea of gifting them with books and games. That uses more imagination, and the whole competitive thing can really capture ones interest quickly!

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      1. He he – ones 18 and the other is 17 and there are some games we’re better not playing because it all gets too “intense”! But there’s a puzzle on the coffee table from Xmas that is slowly being made by the family – the family that plays together stays together! xox

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  4. No truer words were ever spoken, my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

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