Tip of My Iceberg

This past week was my mom’s birthday. She passed away almost six years ago, yet each year on her birthday, my brothers and sisters and I remind each other of the impact she had on our lives.

Dad passed twenty-one years ago, and the two of them made quite a pair. Polar opposites, Mom was a go-getter before her time, making her presence known, pushing the boundaries of what her life could be. Dad was the perpetual farm boy, good-humored and gentle. He knew what it meant to savor moments and people; Mom’s tendency was to keep moving forward, never looking back.

Growing up with them was both painfully messy and incredibly fun. Like living on the edge of a frighteningly dark forest and knowing that entering would be the hard adventure. But the adventure nonetheless.

I always wanted to be embraced in that adventure, but being stubborn like Mom, I pushed too many buttons and often made my lot in the family difficult. Mom and I butted heads on so many occasions that the dent in my brain feels permanent. As a child, I often was reduced to tears. As an adult, I have found how those instances have shaped me.

Being part of the bigger adventure can and will be a challenge. It won’t be easy or comfortable, and the presence of disruption will be the reality. As a teenager, all I wanted was to be out on my own, away from the ongoing crises at home, making my own choices.

I learned what it meant to be responsible for my decisions.

Our choices have consequences that have a grand ripple effect in our lives and the lives of those around us.

Moses recognized early that his story and choices made a difference. Raised in Pharaoh’s court, the adopted son of Pharaoh’s daughter, he was well aware of his Hebrew heritage and desired to help his people.

His choices created problems. Thinking to help his people, he saw an Egyptian beating up on a Hebrew, and he stepped between them and killed the Egyptian.

When he found some of his people arguing the next day, he tried to mediate. But news of his actions had been spread throughout the Hebrew community, and these men mocked him, asking if he would kill them as he had the Egyptian. Pharaoh, upon hearing what Moses had done, tried to kill him as well.

He fled.

For forty years, he stayed away. Fearful and hesitant. One day, he was out with his flocks and saw a bush burning without being consumed. God called to him from the fire, and told Moses He wanted him to save His people from Pharaoh’s harsh rule.

Moses, not wanting to make another mistake, kindly said, “Thanks, but no thanks.” He was fearful, weak, and not good with words. Several times he told God no. God relented and allowed Aaron, his brother, to work with him and be his mouthpiece.

Moses stepped into the messy situation, trusting God would do what He’d said.

God used Moses to bring ten plagues to the Egyptians, showing the strength of God and His commitment to His people, freeing them from centuries of bondage. When he triumphed over Pharaoh and his army, he saw how the Lord had shaped him with all that he’d been through.

“Who is like You among the gods, O Lord–glorious in holiness, awesome in splendor, performing great wonders….With your unfailing love You lead the people You have redeemed. In Your might, You guide them to Your sacred home….The Lord will reign forever and ever.” Exodus 15:11, 13, 18

Like Moses, we all make mistakes, some of them life-changing, many of them harsh and hurtful. But God never abandons those who are His. What we may see as hesitant, small faith, He will use to shape us into being better than we can imagine ourselves being.

The challenges of my life growing up didn’t keep me from becoming a better person; those experiences changed me to be stronger than I could imagine. God used the hard to create a new resilience in me.

It’s easy to complain about the tough circumstances we all will face. Quitting is always simpler then persevering.

But in perseverance with God comes hope, help, and provision.

Shaping with purpose.