The Shaming Game

photo courtesy of Ildar Garifullin on Unsplash

When we bought a car several years ago, it was one of those purchases made of necessity. Our old car had literally given up the ghost. It shimmied like a disco dancer and then periodically lost power.

The car we chose had newer gadgets than we were used to. The back-up camera was incredibly helpful, though it took me quite a bit of time to trust it. I appreciated it’s smooth ride; it was quite an improvement from the old car.

What I struggled with was the annoying sound anytime I didn’t use my turn signal or got too close to the center line of the road. On mornings when I headed for work, more tired than was good, and would forget to use my signals or drifted too close to that line, the dadgum thing would beep at me.


It was not only annoying. It was shaming.

Having a car shame you for not driving precisely according to the rules is rough. Every time the beep sounded, it was a reminder that I’d failed to do something the vehicle intrinsically knew I should be doing.

This is minor compared to the damage that shaming from other people can cause.

Shame is one of the most dehumanizing emotions people experience. It comes from a self-conscious sense that something is fundamentally wrong with us. Our inadequacies become defining and limiting because we become convinced they’re what we really are.

God created us for more than that. We’re created in His image, not one of failure and despair but of hope and joy. Jesus came to live here with us, to be one of us, so He would experience all that we go through, He knew shame; the religious and political leaders did all they could to cause Him suffering.

Which He gladly experienced for us.

“I prayed to the Lord, and He answered me. He freed me from ALL my fears. Those who look to Him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces.” Isaiah 34:4-5

Shame fills our world, and because of the brokenness of each of us, no one can escape its impact. With Jesus in our lives, He speaks truth to us–that we are loved, chosen, celebrated, and cherished, created for a relationship with Him. He sees us as worthy–it’s why He chose to die in our place.

When someone is seen as valuable, it changes the narrative of their story. Instead of being less than, we become more than we can imagine–worthy of love and grace.

Car shame is a bear, but people shame is destructive.

Jesus’ grace gift guarantees to remove the shame.

12 responses to “The Shaming Game”

  1. Never thought of my car shaming me before! But what an entertaining way to consider such a serious topic. Thanks for helping to eliminate shame and shame motivations from our lives. That’s a Jesus gift, for sure. Thanks for reminding us of that gift this morning. 💛

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks, Ter. I felt like crud when I got to work with all the beeping. And I couldn’t turn it off!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Dayle, a good sermon for today. Human shaming is painful. Your car-shaming, annoying and nerve-wracking. You are great at picking an everyday topics and seeing the God lesson in it. Thank you! God bless🙏🏽🙏🏽❣️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. El, you’re more than kind. Thanks, my friend.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Amazing and so awesome post Dayle! Too good👍

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re too kind! I really appreciate you taking the time to read my writing–you have no idea!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s my pleasure dear friend and your positivity is on the next level! Stay happy and Stay Safe dear💕💕💕
        Stay connected

        Liked by 2 people

  4. Oh my goodness…I just told Joe therein lies a fundamental difference in you and me. Although we both find the beeping annoying, I never considered it as shaming me. You need to see it as a reminder that you are too valuable to drift into another car or off the road and it is telling you your worth! 🤣 Yeah, bet you think that is extremely helpful, huh?
    But thank you so much for the truth you share about what damage shame inflicts. But God!!! ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Holy Monkeys, we really are so different. I think it’s the fact that I’m older that I’m done with cars–and people–telling me what’s wrong with me! Love you, Pen!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Each beep could just be one more person who wd be devastated if something were to happen to you! Each beep telling you something that is ohhh sooooo right with you? Each beep telling you one more reason you are so loved. You get the idea….❤️

        Liked by 3 people

  5. You have more positivity than I do!

    Liked by 1 person

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