Tip of My Iceberg

I finally fell.

After avoiding it for almost two and a half years, I finally came down with Covid.

At the worst time ever.

We’re at a conference in Milwaukee, and I had the opportunity to spend time with people I haven’t seen in years. Relationships I value and want to invest in.

It’s not going to happen.

I’m stuck in a hotel room for the next five days, feeling like someone ran over me with a steamroller, and not wanting to see or talk to anyone. I don’t need to go to the hospital, but I can’t afford to expose anyone to what I have.

The worst of it is we’ve had to cancel our family vacation. We’ve been planning this since last year, getting all seven families together in one place for four days of cooperative fun and familial interaction. It would have been the first time we’d all been together in years.

And it was all because of me.

No one wants to see themselves as the villain of the story. But it’s easy to feel the pressure of what appears to be my responsibility.

I did what I could to prevent this from happening. I got the necessary vaccinations and boosters. I wore a mask when I was asked to. I kept my distance from those who’d been exposed. Did I do it all perfectly? No.

We all have times in our lives when the situation feels unsustainable, more than we can handle. Too often the tendency is to complain or blame someone else. Hard and unexpected events will be part of our lives as long as we live.

The Psalms are songs and poems of people dealing with their emotions before God. Spilling out their hearts to Him in anger, joy, sadness, hope, grief, and love. There was recognition that life was hard, that circumstances weren’t always what was expected, and that people found relief in speaking about their feelings, good and bad.

“God is our Refuge and Strength, ALWAYS ready to help in times of trouble. So we will not fear WHEN earthquakes come and the mountains crumble into the sea. Let the oceans roar and foam. Let the mountains tremble as the waters surge!” Psalm 46:1-3

Our issues will often be greater than we can handle; it’s easy to despair when life feels out of control. The hard will happen. We lose sight of the bigger picture and forget who we are–or can be–when we are His children.

I’m not thrilled about this turn of events, but I’m not going to beat myself up about something I couldn’t prevent short of staying in my room the entire time I was here. Why come at all?

I will wait and watch and see what God will do in and through me with this unexpected downtime.

There’s beauty to not being able to plan every aspect of my life. Surprises can bring unexpected blessings.

Hiding doesn’t help for the challenges of life will find us.

Hope brings possibilities of fresh perspectives.