Garbage isn’t a topic of conversation I typically pursue.

Until I can’t ignore the trash.

“What smells funny in here.”

“I don’t smell anything.”

“It stinks really bad!”

I’d become that commercial. I was nose blind.

There was a reason my daughter smelled something unusual. I hadn’t taken the trash out in days–it takes us longer to fill a bag–and there were some pretty ugly things near the bottom that had opportunity to ripen.

You can stuff so much more in those bags now. It’s why so many come with an added deodorizer.

This is the downside of fewer people in the house. When all the kids were home, we’d fill a big kitchen bag daily. Nothing had time to get sour indoors.

Talking to a good friend recently, we were commiserating over the reality of feeling the heaviness of life. We’ve both had a lot going on. Emotionally draining projects. Difficult decisions. Prickly people.

For some off the wall reason, I was reminded of my garbage bags. Full and foul. Things kept inside and not disposed of quickly became worse with time.

Life issues can be that garbage bag.

When I let things stay inside without dealing with them, without talking them out with someone and getting them out of my head, they become really ripe. Like my funky trash.

Having unresolved problems or people conflicts can be emotionally exhausting. I can’t always identify the real problem. My heart feels weighted. Despair feels like it’s lurking around the corner. This I know–the more I put off dealing with matters, the harder they become to face.

Because I’m not a natural internalizer and ponderer, unless I talk to someone I trust, the problem sits. Festering like an infected wound. Full of puss and problems. Those challenging issues need to be exposed to the light. Brought out of hiding so they can’t become a bigger problem than they already are.

Internal and external processors alike need opportunities to air hurts, misunderstandings, disappointments. The only way to do that effectively is with folks who know us well. Safe people. Those who won’t condemn, criticize, judge or mock me if I come to them with a yelp for help and need someone to talk me off the ledge.

People I know will listen.

Like my garbage, it’s often easier to just stuff more things in than remember to take it to the curb. The action of dealing with a stench rather than just getting it out of sight in a garbage can often requires more energy than I have in the moment. Or I just don’t care enough to do it.

I’ve got people in my life who are those places of refuge. Geography isn’t the issue. Connecting is. They’ll listen to my diatribe without panic or judgment. Then offer wise advice.

The safest of places? Jesus. He doesn’t condemn, even though He knows it all. He doesn’t mock me, even though He recognizes I hide. I can connect with Him anytime. No need to schedule, wait for a calm minute or have a charged phone.

He deals with my garbage. With a more thorough cleansing than a deodorizer.

 

 

10 responses »

  1. marshdoctors says:

    Love this, Dayle. So true!

  2. Mary says:

    Well spoken, Dayle. Thank you. I so enjoy your blog….as I have enjoyed you since the day we met so long ago. I love you!!!

  3. sandrauer says:

    Ah, I do know about this need for processing. As an introvert, I often choose to put mine down in words in my journal as my crud just needs to get out somewhere, not necessarily to another individual. Once it’s down in writing, I can leave it and forget it, or return to it someday, but why would I want to do that? 😦

    • daylerogers says:

      Because we tend to return to our junk. Our trash. It’s the darkness in our souls–it craves the gunk. How very sad for us. Heaven will be so incredibly wonderful!

  4. Alice Fredricks says:

    Love it, Dayle! Even your “funky garbage” has a spiritual lesson attached to it. And, yes, the message is so true! That’s why God says we need one another! Just wish I were closer so we could process with each other! Love you!

    • daylerogers says:

      Trash talks. Really. This was a huge reminder to me. Thanks for your encouragement–and thanks for sharing Gar with us for just a few hours. It was so fun having him here. Miss you, sweet friend.

  5. So true! How ripe it gets! Glad I don’t need a calm moment to catch jesus to deal with the trash. And once we DO get a calm moment, I’m here for your diatribe 😉

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