Tip of My Iceberg

When given the gift of space and place, gratitude is the right response.

John and I’ve been given the gift of just that. My sister has a place in Santa Rosa, California that she graciously has allowed us to visit for a time.

Alone. No Internet. No expectations. Just a place to breathe. To be.

I thought it would be a piece of cake to relax. To enjoy being with my husband in a new place we could explore and experience together. To push the metronome to a slower pace.

Breathing takes time.

I’ve chosen to ramp my life up to a degree of busyness that I’ve learned to deal with. It means I don’t sleep much. Or well. I can be whiney about lack of time to do what I want to do. I can get snarky with folks whose expectations are higher than I want to deal with.

Leaving all those expectations behind didn’t make them go away. They’re still in my head.

Because I’m still there. I haven’t changed. I just moved locations.

This is an incredibly beautiful place. We’ve taken walks by the ocean. We’ve searched out quirky coffee shops to sample the local beans. We’ve visited farmers markets and have tasted fruit better than anything we’ve gotten in Florida.

It’s different.

I’m not.

Changing locations or altering my schedule doesn’t intrinsically change me.

If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and you change its swimming hole, it’ll still be a duck.

I need to be intentional about viewing this as different. Not just do things differently. Being different.

I’ve developed a way of living that has made sense over the years. What I think works for me.

Except it doesn’t always work for me.

I tend to have an agenda. Things I want to do, need to do. Job. Family. Friends. Responsibilities.

I’ve got a plan, people.

What I’m learning is that my plan is often the blinders that keep me from seeing the bigger picture of what could be. The wonderful things I’m missing by being so focused on what I want to see done.

This doesn’t scare off Jesus. He tells me to come to Him when I’m weary and burdened with life responsibilities. When I’m tired and overwhelmed by the things I think I need to do. He gets these quirks of my heart and soul. The parts that put me first. Not Him or others.

He urges me to come to Him. To find the rest that my soul longs for.

It’s not in changing location. This is an amazing vacation, but this lesson is something I need to learn in the midst of the busy. In the middle of the mundane. Sitting with Him. Listening to Him. Allowing Him to speak His truth to my heart.

God’s wisdom is greater than anything I can come up. He wants to help me thrive in my story. Experience His joy and peace.

I need to rethink what I’m quacking about.