I should have been paying more attention.

That’s pretty much my go-to excuse nowadays for my forgetfulness, missed appointments, unfinished projects or not following the procedure I should have known to follow.

This, however, was pure unadulterated thoughtlessness.unnamed-2

I have this habit of not closing cabinets. Because I’m slightly vertically challenged, many of the open doors don’t bother me.

The ones I leave open at eye level I’ve learned to avoid by–well–seeing them. Rather than close them, I walk around them.

Habit. Not a good one, but most definitely a learned behavior.

John isn’t so crazy about this. He’s run into my open cabinets. Often.

Guess he wasn’t looking.

The other day I was walking through the kitchen. Reading my Kindle. I’m in the middle of a great book on the Civil War, Michael Shaara’s 1974 epic, The Killer Angels. It’s the account of the leaders on both sides of the war at the battle of Gettysburg. Who they were and how they led in the bloodiest battle ever fought on American soil.

I was enthralled. I love history. I’m enjoying this book.

And I wasn’t looking where I was going.

I ran into a cabinet. And it broke.

My initial response was, “John will kill me.” I knocked this puppy from the wrong side. It cracked half the length of the cabinet.

I knew we had wood glue somewhere. I searched the house and garage and finally found it.

All dried up.

I found this bottle of Gorilla Glue on John’s desk. Reading the label (which I do on occasion) I saw it could fix most surfaces. Including wood.

unnamed-1So I tried it. Figured I could fix it and not let him see that it broke. Thought I could avoid that conversation all together.

No such luck. What the bottle didn’t say was that it would puff up like some viral infestation and harden like it was diseased.

There was no hiding this. No minimizing the damage done.

I had to own it.

To my husband’s credit, he was kind. No “I told you so” comments.

I think he expected this to happen. Some day.

Broken.

The unbroken cabinet is the picture of what I want life to be. My reality is that I’m broken and have poorly glued myself together.

I don’t always engage life with eyes wide open. I try things that may be questionable. I pursue things because they look good to me. I want what I want when I want it.

The veneer cracks and my brokenness shows.

God knows my weaknesses. My tendency to make wrong choices. To push beyond what is good for me. He sees when another little piece of me shatters. And doesn’t want me to stay fragmented.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed.”   Psalm 34:18

“He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.”   Psalm 23:3

God alone can heal what’s broken in me. His love and compassion make my soul whole. He gives real life to my heart.

When He makes things whole, He does it with class.

Restored and refinished.

I’m not knocking that truth.

 

 

20 responses »

  1. Jill Monarch says:

    Oh Jesus, don’t we all need refinishing and restoring daily. GREAT WORDS

  2. debbyshehane says:

    Funny, colorful and helpful- except I spent five minutes trying to think of a viral infestation that puffed up. Mumps? Smallpox? What viral infection
    were you thinking of?

    • daylerogers says:

      I’m no microbiologist. It sounded like what I was looking at. Viral because it grew so rapidly. Infestation because it looked like a growth coming from inside the dad gum cabinet. Maybe it was alien.

  3. Marc Rutter says:

    well said Dayle… brokeness, honesty, no hiding… such healthy reminders to live as broken but free people.

  4. Pat Swartz says:

    This is one of your best.

  5. terry morgan says:

    Someday you and my Steve need to have a discussion about leaving cabinets open! 🙂 And trying to fix a wooden door so that others might not notice… OMG, you brought a great truth to some of my life experiences! I am SO the cracked door… and want so badly to be the perfectly smooth surface. Grace (from myself and others) is key to accepting the real me. Thanks for being a purveyor of grace!

    • daylerogers says:

      I see the cabinet thing as a genetic flaw. My mom did it. Drove my dad nuts. But seeing what that goofy glue did to the door made me want to laugh and cry at the same time. I, too, am that cracked door. My attempts just look like what I never wanted to look like. Thanks for loving me in spite of my cracks!

  6. lynnmaynard says:

    Love it! So often we try to fix things we break in life even though we know God is the best repairman.

  7. Jonathan says:

    I am the world champion fixer of broken stuff in our house. I think we hold the record for people slamming kitchen drawers, and the front coming off of them. Or my other half cramming so much into them that the bottoms fall out. At some point there will be more brackets and screws holding our kitchen together than actual wood…

  8. youvehearditsaid says:

    I’m always leaving cupboard doors open too! Sympathies.. A real test of my wife’s patience. She thinks it’s something psychological. Interesting theory…

    • daylerogers says:

      No, not psychological. It’s having too much really important stuff on our brains that we have no capacity to see an open cabinet.

      • youvehearditsaid says:

        🙂 In my case it’s different. I do see them lying open but decide to ignore the fact. And normally I’m a tidy person… I just wonder if orderly, systematic people sometimes need one area of their lives that can be left uncultivated and a bit wild. Maybe just one room in the house. Or I know people whose houses are immaculate but their cars are a disaster zone! And vice versa. 🙂 Same with office and living areas.

        Anyway, nice thoughts about God fixing and restoring us. Amen! He has the power, and the patience.

  9. Grace4mE says:

    It’s a good thing my husband is kind also, Dayle…because the unbroken cabinet is a picture of me and how I want to be – I better realize and go with HIM and let HIM heal what’s broken in me! Thanks for the reminders in Psalm 34 and 23 as well! Blessings!

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