Tip of My Iceberg

Hide and seek is a wonderful game.

And not just for kids.

I was standing outside, watching a group of kids play hide and seek in the courtyard. They were hiding behind trees, in bushes, around corners of buildings. It was the big kids and the little ones,a game of inclusion, so the hiding places weren’t challenging. It was more about wasting time before everyone had to go in for bed rather than a competition. Laughter floated around like so many bubbles.

And then Isley was the one who had to do the finding.

Rather than hide her eyes, she counted, eyes wide open, till she decided six was far enough. (For a three-year-old, I thought six was generous.) She watched intently as kids scurried to find places so they could be hidden from sight.

They weren’t hidden from Isley.

She ran to their hiding places. “I see you!” she cried. And then it became a game of fake tag to see if she could get them before they got back to base.

Of course she got them all.

They were willing to let her find them.

When she was hiding, it wasn’t enough to go behind a tree. She would cover her eyes so she couldn’t see what was happening or who was coming.

I’ve seen a lot of adults play that same game.

Figuratively.

I do it. I don’t want people to see who I really am, so I hide behind a smile or a smart aleck comment. I hide what I don’t want seen.

And most of the time, it works.

Why do I want to hide? Why do I feel I need to?

There are days I’m not crazy about who I am. What I do. Days when I want to hide the ugly inside that’s trying so hard to come out.

So I fake it. I hide.

But there is One who sees me in all that I am. All that I do. And He loves me still. With all the ugly messiness. All the issues.

Because I’m not perfect.

But I’m perfectly loved.

“O Lord, You have searched me and You know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; You perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; You are familiar with ALL my ways. Before a word is on my tongue You know it completely, O Lord.”  Psalm 139:1-4

I’m that known. Yet fully loved.

“I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14

I’m a wonderful work. In process. Known. Loved. Cherished.

Hiding isn’t something I need to do.

I really want to be found. To be known.

I just need to remember that I already am.