Tip of My Iceberg

We three are quite different. We’ve become friends through participating in a group together, hearing more of one another’s stories. Valuing the differences, respecting the journey. Our uniquenesses made us appreciate who each of us is.

But what we did have in common was a deep appreciation for the Pointer Sisters.

The three of us had a chance to see them in concert, and it was incredible. Granted, there is only one of the sisters left in the group–Ruth Pointer. The other two are Ruth’s daughter and granddaughter. Ruth is an amazing singer; at 79, her voice was strong and melodic. But there was a camaraderie onstage that made the relationships obvious. Family.

Also friends.

Friendships are something to be cherished. They’re not always easy; true relationships will have disagreements and disruptions. It’s what happens when people are authentic with each other without fear of losing a friend. Honesty between friends is essential. Thomas Aquinas, the Italian philosopher and theologian, once said, “There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship.” Dr. Suess said it with a bit more whimsy: “To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world.”

I’ve had a friend for several decades who knows me better than most. We are as different as two people can be, but I can count on her to be honest with me and love me through the messy parts of my life.

I have many of those.

The Bible is full of relationships that reflect what each of us needs as people made to live in community. Jesus had His twelve disciples, in particular, the inner circle of Peter, James, and John. He was also very close to Mary, Martha, and Lazarus, the two sisters and brother who were the safe place for Him and His disciples to relax and be with like-minded people.

Paul and Barnabas were two men who reflected our need for authentic peer relationships and the effectiveness of having a mentor walking with you, sharing their wisdom. Barnabas was known by the disciples and all who had become followers of Jesus as a man of encouragement who was often sent to places to inspire and motivate new believers. “When he (Barnabas) arrived and saw this evidence of God’s blessing, he was filled with joy, and he encouraged the believers to stay true to the Lord. Barnabas was a good man, full of the Holy Spirit, and strong in faith.” Acts 11:23-24.

Paul had been a Pharisee, one of the religious leaders trying to destroy the new group of believers who followed Jesus. When he had his dramatic meeting with the risen Jesus and became His follower, nobody believed or trusted Paul. It was Barnabas who spoke up for him, who advocated for him when the new church wanted nothing to do with him.

A friend stood up for someone unknown. Because the people trusted Barnabas, they learned to trust Paul.

Friendships are foundational in life. They give us the support we need when we feel alone, the strength we need when we feel weak, and the encouragement we need when our voice feels silenced. They can help shape us, for good or bad, impacting who we become.

My two friends and I are becoming more trusting of each other. We’ve spoken of the hard things and have been each other’s encouragers when we’ve needed it.

Having friends is a gift. But like Ralph Waldo Emerson, the American poet said, “To have a friend, you must be one.”

Friendship is never a one-way street.