Tip of My Iceberg

When our kids were young, I used to tease my husband that we had fallen into unasked for roles–at least from my perspective. I was the bad cop to his good cop. He traveled quite a bit, and when he was gone, I was the one who had to hold down the fort. I was the disciplinarian, cook, chauffeur, laundress, homework guru, and enthusiastic fan for all their soccer games. I found my rhythms, and we worked into a system that was fairly sustainable.

Until Dad came home. Then the good cop reentered the picture, and often he was told of all the rotten things Bad Cop Mom had done while he was away.

I’m watching three of our grands right now for just over a week. Getting the rhythm of their routines down, getting them off to school knowing if it’s music day or PE, and getting them to soccer practices and games has been a challenge. Right now I’ve been more bad cop than good. I’ve lost my temper with the kids, I’ve yelled (my voice can be very loud), and I’ve made them cry. Not proud moments, to be sure. Not what I wanted.

Life can be so unfair.

We each fall into the good cop/bad cop space throughout life. There are times when we have to be the tough person, such as in confrontations or conflict resolutions, when we have to take the undesired role of standing for the right thing or making choices not favored but necessary. There are other times when we get to be the hero for someone, when our actions are received with gratitude.

There are also times when certain people seem to be the perpetual bad guys. In Jesus’ day, these men were the Pharisees, a religious party that flourished between 515 BC and 70 AD. They believed in the Torah (the first five books of the Bible), oral laws and traditions, and that God would reward those who lived truly righteous lives. As Jesus spread the news about forgiveness and repentance, these men developed a deep-set anger toward Him. He never hesitated to say to them what they needed to hear.

“You’re hopeless, you religion scholars and Pharisees. You keep meticulous account books, tithing on every nickel and dime you get, but on the meat of God’s Law, things like fairness and compassion and commitment–the absolute basics–you carelessly take it or leave it.” Matthew 23:23

Jesus called them hypocrites, men who lived a lie, claiming to be something they weren’t. They expected others to live up to their unsustainable standards.

Jesus was truly the one Good Cop. He was born without sin, since He was conceived through the power of the Holy Spirit. He lived a life without messing up. Because He Himself is God, He exhibits the purity of His Father. He stated, “The Father and I are one.” John 10:30.

Jesus also claimed to be the One who was able and willing to give good gifts to people. “Whatever is good and perfect is a gift coming down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow.” James 1:17.

In a world of good and bad people, having Someone whose love can’t be used up, whose patience is immeasurable, whose forgiveness is complete, and who cares passionately for us is the most reassuring truth to lean into. I’ve proven that I’m not that person–I’m human, messy, and finite. I let others down too easily.

Knowing I have Jesus to hold me up, to be there for me no matter what my circumstances or attitudes gives me confidence to choose to love and trust Him.

It’s a win/win issue when you walk with Jesus. I don’t have to be the eternal bad cop.