Tip of My Iceberg

Nolan is at the age where he wants to do everything by himself. He’ll be three in a month, so his independence is understandable. He’s up for almost anything.

Except that big-boy step of potty training. He doesn’t have any desire to do that himself. He tries, but he’s not all in on practicing.

Nolan knows enough that he’s aware of when things begin moving. Choosing to use the facilities isn’t his current solution.

His awareness, however, makes him embarrassed to finish his business in front of everybody. Finding him perched on the stairs, with no one around, his back to the room, I knew what was happening–the soon detected odor confirmed what I was thinking.

Embarrassment can be the precursor to shame. Shame is an ugly troll of an emotion that separates us from others with feelings of inadequacy, of being less than everyone else. The humiliation and distress of shame destroys our hope, confidence, and purposefulness moving forward.

The apostle Peter loved Jesus dearly, but on the night that Jesus was betrayed by one of His own disciples, Peter became fearful. He followed the soldiers holding Jesus to the home of the high priest, where he was questioned by three different people who realized he was a follower of Jesus. Out of abject fear, he denied even knowing Jesus.

Jesus had predicted this would happen.

“At that moment the Lord turned and looked at Peter. Suddenly, the Lord’s words flashed through Peter’s mind: ‘Before the rooster crows tomorrow morning, you will deny three times that you even know Me.’ And Peter left the courtyard, weeping bitterly.” Luke 22:61-62

The shame Peter felt in letting down his dearest friend was huge. The One who he knew to be the Messiah was the One he betrayed. His sense of self-preservation trumped what he knew was the right response.

Jesus is well aware of our inability to do life perfectly. His forgiveness is unlimited; His grace is sufficient for all we need.

“So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1

When we invite Jesus into our hearts, not only does He forgive all the mistakes and chaotic choices we’ve made; He never holds them against us. Shame isn’t anything He dishes out. Instead, He loves us unconditionally.

Nolan felt embarrassed enough to not want anyone to see him in his uncomfortable situation.

No matter how disrupted we feel with the challenges and pain of life, we who belong to Jesus don’t have to fret with shame. He doesn’t hold our mistakes against us.

Forgiveness and grace. The only way to really dispel shame and embrace love.