Tip of My Iceberg

I’ve been on walks with my sister in the desert, and one sound stands out from others.

The melancholy coo of the mourning doves.

It’s a sorrowful song, like a melody played in minor keys. They’re the constant reminder of why I’m here. To honor my brother-in-law for a life well-lived and to encourage my twin sister in the new life rhythms she will create.

Grief is one of those emotions that make most of us uncomfortable. I don’t like to sit in the heavy darkness of it; my tendency is to acknowledge it and move on. Not giving it due diligence but smacking a smile on my face and going forward.

My sister can’t do that. Her grief is like a wet wool blanket thrown over her that feels smothering, one she can’t shake off. It’s present every morning she gets up and sees the bed next to her empty. It’s there when she hears something funny and turns to share with a man who’s no longer there.

Her daughter Kate is grieving not having the chance to say goodbye, missing her dad’s passing by days. Nothing she could have known or controlled, but the feeling of loss is great.

Her two sons, Justin and Brent, each are feeling the sorrow uniquely.

Our younger sister Janet lives close to Gayle, so she’s been slowly grieving as the process of John’s illness progressed. She’s been present through it all, a shoulder to lean on.

All of us have something we’re grieving. It may not be the loss of a loved one; it could be the loss of a job or a dream, the end of something once enjoyed and treasured. We grieve over how others treat us–or how we treat others. Sorrow is part of this life.

We deal with grief in a way unique to each of us.

Grief needs to be addressed. It doesn’t go away; it’s like the stray cat that keeps showing up on your porch. You can’t ignore it.

Jesus felt deep sorrow for all those in Israel as He looked out over Jerusalem, lamenting that they didn’t understand the gift of salvation He was offering. (Matthew 23:37-39). The prophet Isaiah spoke of what the Messiah would do for us who believed.

“Yet it was our weaknesses He carried; it was our sorrows that weighed Him down. And we thought His troubles were a punishment from God, a punishment for His own sins! But He was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed.” Isaiah 53:4-5

Jesus understood grief better than we can for He took on Himself all our wrongdoings, all our mess, and suffered the consequences of brokenness for us so we could experience wholeness.

Grief is part of life. I’m walking through this journey with my family, and I’ll confess I don’t like it.

But I know Jesus is with all of us because we chose Him. And His tears mingle with ours as we grow through the sadness and sorrow of life.

We’re not alone.