Tip of My Iceberg

Bad things happen in threes.

Or multiples of three.

For us, it began last week with our oldest, Heather, going in for surgery for a torn and twisted meniscus in her knee. An injury acquired from indoor soccer. Incredibly painful. The rehabbing is slow and uncomfortable.

Three days later, our third child, Melody, went into the miniER because of pain in her abdomen and nausea. The blood work showed extremely elevated levels of liver enzymes. Not good. Two times in the OR. One to zap the gall stones that were working their way to where they didn’t belong. The second to remove the offending gall bladder.

After Melody spent the first night in the hospital, Debbie, child number six, had an MRI to determine what was wrong with her knee. She’s got bone rubbing on bone–have to love what soccer can do for you. She may have to get a partial knee replacement. At 24.

None of this is life ending. It’s life inconveniencing. It feels overwhelming.

Overwhelmingly unfair.

My kids have always been active. The AMA encourages all Americans to get out and exercise. My kids exercise, surgery ensues.

They’ve been fairly healthy eaters. The occasional junk food shouldn’t undo the benefits of all the fruits and vegetables they eat.

My kid’s getting an organ removed in spite of healthy eating.

You think you’re doing the right thing, and the wrong results happen.

The experts don’t know it all.

Frustrating.

It would be so easy to whine and complain, “Life’s unfair!”

It is.

What’s hard is when I try hard to do what’s right. And it all blows up in my face.

Or feels that way.

It’s easy to get angry at God. He’s all-powerful. Totally in control. Knows all.

The questions drift through my mind like smog in L.A., getting caught on the edges and not moving.

Why didn’t God do something about this? Why didn’t He step in and change the outcome?

Why?

I feel that when I read of a twelve-year-old sent into a wedding in Turkey as a suicide bomber. Those thoughts run amok when I hear about people getting shot for no apparent reason other than color or job description.

God could change the outcome.

Life happens as it does because we have the opportunity to choose. God isn’t a dictator or despot.

We aren’t puppets.

God allows us to choose who we’ll follow. How we’ll craft our lives. What we value.

The bad stuff that happens? Consequences.

Not always ones caused by us. We live in a world where the ripple effect of darkness covers everything. No one is immune from the effects of evil.

It’s why unfairness is so hard to stomach. It’s dark. Senseless. Imperfect.

This isn’t a perfect world.

My girls will get through these life inconveniences. I’m grateful their lives won’t have to end as they know it.

If that were to happen, would I be as understanding?

Probably not immediately. Pain hurts. I’m a reactor.

But God is still God. All-knowing. All-powerful. Ever-present.

With free will comes the acceptance of responsible decisions.

I can trust Him. Even if my circumstances feel lousy.

He’s present in those circumstances when no one else is.