Tip of My Iceberg

Internet’s been out all day. That really messes up my life. A certain cable company that rhymes with Pooverse is down. Again. I had folks asking me several times if I’d received this notification or that email. Not so much.

I wouldn’t have done it that way.

Ryken, the Happy Wheezer, turned 1. Between hospital visits, multiple prescriptions, ear infections and needing to be awakened every few hours for breathing treatments, it’s not been a stellar day. This after finally getting in the groove of sleeping through the night. Intentionally waking him just seems wrong.

I wouldn’t have done it that way.

We had our big weekly meeting today. Which was amazing. Except for the inconvenience of one of the toilets in the women’s restroom overflowing. Of course it had to be the women’s restroom. Because so few of us women ever need to use it. My boss plunged and mopped. He was a saint. But it was a mess.

I wouldn’t have done it that way.

Little things that don’t turn the world upside down feel so much bigger when I feel a little overwhelmed or under the pile.

I should be grateful for a respite from technology and the constant interruption of instant connection.

I wasn’t.

I should be grateful that Ryken didn’t have to spend another night in the hospital. That he has meds that will help his breathing be more efficient and effective. That he’s still grinning.

I wasn’t.

I should be grateful that my boss, a very kind and gracious man, cleaned up the mess in the bathroom without a second thought. Never asking me to do a thing.

I wasn’t.

When life goes as I feel it should go, I’m grateful. Content. And grinning.

When my meager plans—these aren’t world changers, or even world effectors—get changed, I stew like an old bird in a pot. A long time over a slow boil.

God is sovereign over all things. The Boss. It would be easy to lay these at His feet. Blame Him for my inconvenient life and messed up plans.

How petty.

But it makes me wonder if the depth of my relationship with Him is based on the benefits of His blessing–what I get from Him. Or on the fact that the God of all creation loves me. Chooses me. Cherishes me.

God knows my complaints and fears. He’s not bothered by them because He’s bigger than them.

He invites me to lean into Him. To rest in Him without worrying about the things over which I have no control. To approach the messiness of life knowing He walks with me through it. Knowing that I’ll never be alone, whether the room is full of folks or I’m the only one in it.

There will be—and has been–pain and grief in much greater supply than what I’m whining about. What never changes is God. He’s the same yesterday, today and forever.

I like that He does it that way.